The Bi-annual Blogger

The “Bi-Annual Blogger”… Again (But This Time It’s Different)

If you’ve been here before, welcome back.

If you’re new here… well, there’s something you should know.

I have a long history of showing up… and disappearing.

In fact, one of my last posts was titled “The Twice-a-Year Blogger.”
At the time, I meant it as a joke. A light way to acknowledge my inconsistency.

But if I’m being honest, it wasn’t really a joke.

It was confusion.
It was frustration.
It was me trying to understand why I could care so much about something… and still not follow through.

For years, I thought I was just lacking something.

Discipline.
Focus.
Consistency.
Faith.
Something.

I kept thinking:
“If I could just fix this one thing about myself… everything else would fall into place.”

So I tried.

Over and over again.

New systems.
New routines.
New promises to myself.

And every time I didn’t follow through, it quietly reinforced the same belief:

Maybe I just don’t measure up.

What I Didn’t Know Back Then

I didn’t know I had ADHD.

I didn’t understand why my brain worked the way it did.
Why I could feel deeply inspired one moment… and completely disconnected the next.
Why starting felt easy—but continuing felt impossible.

So instead of understanding myself…

I judged myself.

I labeled it as laziness.
Lack of discipline.
Lack of commitment.

But it was never that simple.

What I’m Starting to Understand Now

I’m not broken.
I’m not missing something.

I just didn’t have the right lens.

And once you start seeing yourself differently… everything begins to shift.

Not overnight.
Not perfectly.
But honestly.

So, Why Am I Back?

Because this blog was never really about consistency.

It was about capturing the journey.

The small moments.
The quiet realizations.
The in-between spaces where life is actually happening.

I started this space to remind myself to:

• slow down
• Notice the details
• “stop and smell the roses” (even when life felt chaotic)

Somewhere along the way, I thought I needed to turn it into something more structured… more polished… more consistent.

And when I couldn’t… I stopped.

This Time Feels Different

Not because I suddenly have everything figured out.

But because I’m not trying to force myself into something I’m not anymore.

This isn’t about becoming a “perfect blogger.”
This isn’t about posting every week.
This isn’t about doing it right.

This is about showing up… as I am… when I can… and telling the truth about what this journey actually looks like.

If You’re Still Here

Maybe you’ve felt this too.

Like you’re always almost there… but never quite.
Like everyone else got a manual you somehow missed.
Like you’re constantly trying to fix something about yourself.

If that’s you—I see you.

And maybe… just maybe…
there’s nothing wrong with you either.

So Here We Go… Again

Not as “The Twice a Year or Every Two Year Blogger.”

But as someone who is finally starting to understand herself.

And maybe, through that…

I can help someone else feel a little less alone.