Structure is in the details

 My mind is blown on this lazy Sunday morning, June 13, 2021, on day zero of my 30-day self-challenge,  at the perfection of serendipity and divine intuition. All throughout my journey of self-discovery and search for purpose, there have been very clear guideposts, teachers, and angels along the way who have held my hand and taught me so much.  All I had to do is trust my gut, follow my intuition, and open my heart to hope and possibilities.  Before then, I had found myself in a dark pit where I could not even trust my own gut, I had forgotten to listen to my heart, and I began to distrust my intuition.

How did I get there? I think is irrelevant now; I spent too much time for too long asking those questions only to find frustration, regret, and hopelessness. So instead, I think what is more compelling here for me is what got me here, to the now.

As I close this personal challenge, I stumble upon three major guideposts in this beautiful life journey, and I know none is left to coincidence.  The perfection of these three beautiful gifts and how they correlate to one another is breathtaking to me. I am so humbled and grateful and so full of hope.

Browsing social media, I ran across an interview Marie Forleo was conducting of Martha Beck, speaking of her latest work, The Way of Integrity. It is so interesting to me that Martha Beck is someone that is not new to me because angels along the way lead me to her articles on Oprah Magazine and some of her books. I do not know how many years ago a co-worker gifted me her book Finding Your Own North Star. She probably knew that it would be something I would enjoy reading, as I have shared my desire to find my way in life, the gift was very much appreciated, but I never read it; I do not know why. In my constant scramble to seek answers, I have compiled a large library of self-help books, and some have captured my attention, and some have piled up with the great intention to read them one day. The point here is that I had heard of Martha Beck, and when I saw the interview on Instagram, I stopped to listen. They talked about her life briefly and how this book is a great tool to find balance and structure in your life, something I have been actively pursuing in my life for years, but especially in the last 30 days. I was immediately drawn in, and with not much thought, I ordered the book on Audible, started listening, and knew right away I needed it in hard copy. In addition, I also ordered The Divine Comedy from Dante Alighieri because the way she illustrates the steps into integrity and how it correlates with Dante's poems just completely captivated me. I was so fortunate to pick John Ciardi's translation because it makes the reading understandable and relatable.  I had never really considered myself an avid reader and more of an art lover than a scholar, but I have grown to appreciate the art of reading and have realized the tremendous power it holds.

Today a Facebook reminder from 2019 popped up, again, no coincidence here. I can't help but share this quote from Jim Rhon, one of those teachers along the way, when he says, "Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning is where the miracle process begins".  This is truly what got me here, to the now.

I posted that quote from Jim Rohn with this other quote from Einstein I found online.

I can't but feel overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude for the divine protection, inspiration, and gentle and, at times, not so gentle nudging. Again today, when I paused for a moment from reading how to read Dante and the translator's notes, I went on social media where I ran across the app Fabulous; after reading more about it, I discovered it is the perfect tool to help me build the structure my soul has desired for decades.  An app that takes you on a journey into the depths of your being and helps you climb three mountains! Foundations, Struggle, and Mastery; If you know Dante and the Divine Comedy, you can see the correlation and the perfection of it all. I am so blown away right now!

I could write for hours today; thoughts are swirling in my head of all the beautiful connections and serendipities, of how Dante was an Aries and how the struggles depicted in the Devine Comedy sparked around when he was 35 years old, time most people and I reach a crossroads in life.  I have so much in my heart to share, but I must stop here for now and gather myself. 

The beauty here is that I am ready, and that is why I know these things have fallen on my lap today, and I cannot wait to see where this takes me, out of hell into purgatory and onto my ultimate destination, the Paradiso.

Focus on the next small step

 I am done feeling inadequate, so I am taking matters into my own hands. Through this exercise, I have discovered many things about my desires and aspirations and the many things I want to accomplish. But I realize that this will all take time, and it can only move forward if I take small steps and invest the time to learn and perfect as I go.

I do not believe that I have failed to blog for 30 days with consistency, intention, the right reasons, etc. Because I realized I lack so much knowledge, I realize I have to deliberately invest the time and tap into the many available resources. Treat this as a job and schedule a set time to "work" on it.

That being said, I also realized that I have to give myself grace and maybe not bite more than what I can chew. I propose to myself, re-taking the challenge, but this time with structure and more intention. Utilize the tools I have gained, and continue to research and learn about this blogging world. Maybe I can make another attempt and allow myself to blog once or twice a week, as long as it is consistent and well planned out.  I have two days to go through this challenge. Tomorrw I will post some of the tips I learned about at the surface level of my research; hopefully, it can help someone who is also on this journey of discovery.

I have been blindly following my intuition and just typing - there is merit to that. This small step with a bit of focus has helped me leap into a whole new territory. 

Now let's see if I can find a better-looking countdown widget! 

Let your desires become stronger than your excuses

Four days later.... Yes, my last post was Friday the 4th. By the time the weekend comes, I have noticed that I get focused on other things, family, and commitments, and the blog becomes an afterthought. And I have the push and pull inside that I "should" do it instead of "want" to do it. 

Friday, I had to take my doggy Charlie to a vet appointment right after work. On my way, my husband askes me if I want to go out to dinner; being that things are opening up again, our favorite Mexican El Patio restaurant was just what sounded so good after a stressful long week. Our 20-year-old daughter joined us, and we had a charming evening. Coming back to the restaurant was such a pleasant surprise because, during the pandemic, they remodeled and refreshed the restaurant, and it looks incredible. The atmosphere was so nice, and the food? OMG, the best. I had the albondigas plate, and it tasted so homemade, it reminded me of how my grandma used to make them. 

Getting back home, I felt so full and relaxed that I had to lay down for a bit, and it was lights out for me. Saturday- we had a trip planned to see family in El Centro later in the day, so in the morning, we took it easy, and my husband made a leisurely breakfast. He made the best vegan dish inspired by one of our favorite vegan chefs recipe Gaz Oakley. It was tofu scramble on top of toasted ciabatta bread; talk about it's all about the details. We had an amazing breakfast then started getting ready to leave - We ended up leaving around 1:30pm and got there an hour and a half later. During our visit, we went to pay our respects to my late mother-in-law, who passed 10 months ago; it was a great opportunity to visit and spend some quality time with my father-in-law, who took some flowers to her that day. We visited my hubby's grandparents' and uncle's graves and shared some sweet memories on our way out.

We headed over to the store then my sister-in-law's house where the rest of the family was getting together; this was mostly a bonding time for my husband with his brother, sister, and father after such a great loss and the pandemic, which had prevented us from physically gathering for over a year. The weather was hot, and there is something about being below sea level that always makes me lethargic, or maybe I just needed the rest. I ended up staying most of the visit indoors, with my nieces and my daughter catching up and watching tv in the air conditioning. I also knew I was going to be the one driving home, so I took a nap. Overall it was a nice break from the norm, and it was a lovely time. We headed back home close to midnight and got home about 2am. 

Sunday was supposed to be about sleeping in and taking it easy, and it was, but it wasn't. I got up around 8am, took Charlie out to potty, gave him food, made coffee, and folded some laundry. I literally got my laptop to write, and then my husband got up and came over to see what I was up to. He turned on the TV, I was planning on sitting there in the quiet with my coffee and write, and he did ask, but I didn't want to turn him away or leave. What really is more important here?  That was a choice I made.  We then started to talk about breakfast and noticed we needed some ingredients, so while he got some of it started I headed over to the store, which is literally a skip and a hop away—the first trip of the day.  When I was there, I noticed that they had potting soil and plant food, so I grabbed some and decided I would transplant some of the plants I had been meaning to re-pot and desperately needed it. I made it a whole experience - got a folding table, my gardening gloves, the pots, and the plants and enjoyed every minute of it. I have never considered myself much of a gardener, but I know it is super therapeutic and relaxing to take care of plants; it indeed was. I watered the plants in the patio, moved some of them around, watered and fed the indoor ones, and felt so good about it. I ended up making two more trips to the store for additional soil and succulent food, then realized I needed more cleaning products, then the third trip was to grab some finger foods for dinner time. Since we had a big brunch and the kitchen was already clean, we would just use the air fryer for cooking some finger foods; mozzarella sticks, mini quiche, chicken fingers, and fries.  My daughter and her boyfriend watched some tv, and my hubby and I headed to bed. 

Monday morning came, and it was time to go back to work; I still felt tired from the weekend, and a little sleep-deprived worked and offered to give my co-worker a ride home since she needed a lift. This was a little out of my way, but I did not mind; I just took my time and went with the flow. I got home and hung out with my daughter; my hubby felt the same, just in need of more rest, so he went his way, and we stayed in the living room. This was yet another opportunity for me to make a choice and a decision to spend quality time with my daughter or rush and blog something quick for the sake of keeping my word. I did not do it.  But this morning, it made me think about how far I have to organize my time and really anchoring my intentions. Can someone really have the best of both worlds, or does everything have to be a sacrifice? I think planning and organization will be key, and creating a specific time and space to do the work is going to be necessary so that it does not interfere with everyday life. 

One of the YouTubers mentioned that a blog should not be lengthy, but I am catching up here for the last four days. Do I retake this challenge and make myself accountable to blog every single day?  How bad do you want it? I ask myself.  I am aware that some kind of sacrifice will be involved, but I have to come to terms with what and when. 

Top 10 Lessons Derived from Imperfect Action

I have ten more days to blog from my 30-day challenge and what a great opportunity to reflect on the top ten things I have learned so far. I know I have far more to go but I am amazed what a little focus and time can accomplish.

Here are my top 10 Lessons

1.     GET STARTED NOW - STOP OVERTHINKING
2.     clarity will come from taking IMPERFECT action
3.     creativity starts to flow when you create space for it
4.     become an expert in your field - research free resources
5.     you do not have to be perfect - learn and refine as you go
6.     STOP REGRETTING THE PAST - ONLY LOOK FORWARD
7.     LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES - DON'T GET STUCK THERE
8.     ANALYSIS PARALYSIS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE
9.     HELPFUL free TOOLS TO MAKE LIFE SIMPLER - use them
10.   WHEN YOU FALL 10 TIMES GET BACK UP 11 - KEEP GOING

take a leap of faith find inspiration

I have spent the last couple days diving into research and I am so grateful for the wealth of information out there and the generosity of so many giving knowledge freely online.  I am learning so much and have been thinking that sometimes there is a certain level of braveness with naivete. 

When my heart lead me to write a blog, I just went for it not having a single clue of what that means, then over thought about it and got paralyzed, then I would come back and write and make attempts, and research a little, but then get overwhelmed about all the information out there and leave the blog.  I think the difference now is that I am allowing myself to take imperfect action and learn as I go.  Instead of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, I feel energized and inspired to learn more. Yesterday was coming back from Memorial Day Weekend and a long day of work, still had to run errands, cook dinner, clean kitchen etc after that. Too tired to blog, an excuse? No but the reality of it all.  

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

I believe inspired action is way more effective than going through the motions for the sake of completing a task. I do understand the discipline part is what I am attempting to develop here. I want to continue learning and developing a content calendar to have a guideline of what I want to blog about and organize my thoughts. Theme here? Organization and purpose.