Journey of 1000 steps starts with a brave one

I am so excited! Yesterday after blogging I realized that I have so much to go, so much to learn. I have just been afraid to dig deep and learn. Why? I do not know, but I am done with excuses. I bought an audio book about starting a blog when not having a clue, and I watched several tutorials about starging a blog, and all the things it entails. I am an avid learner and find that I thrive when I am learning. I just have to be captured by the topic and fully invested in it otherwise I lose interest. In any regard, I have set out to learn about what I am doing and taking this seriously. I do believe it is no coinsidence that I keep feeling like I need to build this, work on this and make something of it. The creative juices are already flowing, I took so many notes, and that is scratchign the surface. I think I am ok at the moment, using this platform and taking imperfect action, the key word here is action. I have come to learn that once you take that step things start to move and flow in the direction they should.

Fall down 10 times, get back up 11

 

What is it that creates an insatiable fire within to keep someone going? I think the fire can be there, but creating structure and discipline helps keep that fire going.  Why did I not blog Friday and Saturday?

Friday I was really looking forward to coming home, relaxing having a nice evening with my family, and it was fabulous, we stayed up quite late. Saturday I intentionally did not want to have commitments or deadlines. Again, enjoyed the downtime and really did not do much. I tried blogging but I just did not have the inspiration. I ask myself why?  I see so many people fired up and going and going at 110% or so it seems. That begins to play with impostor syndrome for me. I begin to question why do I even bother writing basically just for myself, who is making me write for 30 days?  I realize that this is precisely the area I need to work on, consistency, discipline and commitment to my own self. Doing the easy thing is quitting and not keeping my commitment, but deep down inside I know that this is not what I truly want. But what is it that keeps that fire going, what brings that passion that never wants to stop?

One of the things I am learning is that creating consistency requires planning and goal setting. Aloting designated time to do a certain task. I am going to try this on the days I have left of the 30 days. Use my agenda and assign a certain specific time to blog.   I am not going to hammer myself down, and feel bad, I am going to focus on the positives this exercise is bringing to the foreground.

Below,  is what I was looking forward to after a hard and stressful week, a relaxed fun time with my family with some great music, toasted crusty bread, bruschetta, a nice and spicy bloody mary with giant Spanish olives, and cocktail shrimp.  I went live on my Facebook group and had a nice time.  Those were the beautiful details that filled my evening, and I have no regrets because at the end of the day IT  is truly all about the details...

You have the power to make a change

 They say that the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different result. To me, and what I have come to learn, is that it is all about choices. We have the power to make a change, make a decision, take a step. On the other hand, we choose to remain where we are and keep seeing the same results. Today's lesson and theme were about overcoming stress and managing stress by trying something out of the ordinary. It was about doing something even if I am not feeling like it.  I have learned that when we do not want to or feel like doing something, those are the moments where we have that opportunity to make a choice. It is again the power of focus. What do I want to focus my energy on?

I have experienced for years, coming home from work tired, stressed, and worn out, and I flop on the couch or bed, and all I want to do is sleep.  Sure we all need that once in a while, very valid, but this can have lasting repercussions if it becomes a chronic habit. It certainly did not help my anxiety which then turned into depression. Why? Because I was repeating the same patterns of thought, the same behaviors, the same routine, and not giving myself a chance to try something else. And the worst part is that the more you give in to the same patterns of behavior, the worse you feel, and it is literally a circle of insanity.  So today, I challenged myself to push through, and even if I wanted to come home and lay down, I put on my shoes and work out clothes and walked the dog, then I got on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I can truly say I have no regrets.  I invite you to break out of the norm, try a different route, switch it up, try something new, and share what you feel.  I know I am probably writing only for myself...but that's ok.

You've come a long way baby

On the topic of finding balance and giving grace. I found it very interesting that today there were several messages I found on social media on this very topic. I often find that I tune in to exactly the things I need to hear and learn.  Good reminders to recognize that overall I have overcome many challenges, I have created good changes in my life, I have survived adversities and in the middle of it all have found grace, love and understanding from the universe and my own self.   Here a beautiful reminder from Gabby Bernstein's facebook post today.

 

You Are Not Alone

 

Today was a much better day! I think we all have the ups and downs in life, and sometimes it is just ok to let them be. For years I fought against my feelings, suppressing them, criticizing them, judging them, which led me to anxiety and depression. The more I continued to fight against it and not really take the time to understand myself or allow myself to feel, I started to experience physical symptoms, pains, aches, stomach issues, skin issues, numbness, and tingling in my extremities. You see, if you do not listen to your inner voice,  that voice gets louder and louder, and if you still do not listen, life has a way to put you in situations where you have no choice but to listen. Why do some of us have to wait until that happens?  If I can help one person realize that making adjustments as soon as something feels off and not letting them get to extremes, I will consider myself very blessed. I had to learn the hard way; no one told me these things. 

I suppose most people do not know better; no one really explains those things to us. We think we are wrong or wrong with us physically or mentally, and we seek medical help. Most doctors do not understand or treat the root of the problem and offer relief that masks the feelings even further, sometimes creating a bigger down spiral problem. I am not against medication when necessary, or there is a clinical imbalance, but in my own experience and opinion, that was not the answer for me. I knew there was a better way; I knew there was something deeper I needed to find in my heart. Why am I writing about this?  This was not necessarily the plan, but I truly believe it is a very relevant topic. Especially now during mental health awareness month. So many people feeling lost, confused, and claustrophobic after COVID.

I started this blog to try and understand my feelings and allow myself a space to express my thoughts and document my blessings.  Sometimes it is difficult to see what is in front of you and count your blessings. Even worse, and what I was going through, I knew I had everything to be happy, and I was just not feeling it, making myself feel worse and like I was taking things for granted. So I set out to blog and document the little things in life, to stop and notice and take joy in life's simple pleasures. 

As I sought and searched, I came across information about mindset, spirituality and I started studying both clinical and spiritual aspects that affect the mind. I became fascinated with how they correlate. I grew up in a religious environment, and many of the mindset and spiritual principles outside the church were highly frowned upon. I started finding scriptures about the renewal of the mind and reading about neuroscience, and it all came together for me. It made so much sense, and I started building my mindset muscle and finding a closer relationship to my higher power.  FASCINATING, to say the least, to me.  Then one day, everything came together, and I started going to vision board events but soon realized that they often do not explain why you are doing this or how it works. The concept poured to me like a divine download, and I created Vision Board 101 for Ladypreneurs. I took a certification course through Udemy, and I got certified as a therapeutic art life coach, which includes creating and facilitating the creation of vision boards among other forms of art to help clients heal, reduce stress, and use positive affirmations and imagery to visualize positive changes in their lives. Vision boards are a powerful tool to help create the vision of our lives, hopes, and dreams and to set specific goals. I have learned through this process that the timing does not have to be perfect, that I do not have to be perfect, I only have to be one step ahead of someone that is going through what I went through, and I can share my experience and knowledge to help them along the way.  Just like this blog, perhaps my course is not perfect yet, but I can start making progress and learning as I go and share my experiences even in the messy middle. We do not all "arrive" the same way.

Part of my course offers different types of vision and/or inspiration boards, and I find that sometimes an inspiration board is a great step to get your creative juices flowing; before diving into deeper visions for your future, you must be in a positive state of mind, and an inspiration board is less intimidating and more fun to make.  You just pick images and messages that inspire you, spark joy and motivate you, and you arrange them more in a free-flow style. This board is to raise your vibration and put you in a good mood when you see it. One of the main principles of creating these boards is making sure that you are open and in a good state of mind when you create them.  You can see the steps on this blog where I shared what I have learned about vision boards.  I later refined my thoughts with the course I created, and I plan on writing an ebook about it. 

Here is my inspiration board - I hope it inspires you to create your own. What I wanted to focus on with this board is mainly balance. I want to stop regretting the years I feel I "lost" trying to find answers. I know now it was meant to be, but I also want to reverse and restore the perceived damage to my body, mind, and spirit. I trust that God can restore the years I felt lost and make my latter days much better than my former years. I also wanted to remind myself that I can make a difference and influence women positively. I want to remind myself that I am constantly guided and protected and that the desires of my heart are my birthright because God put them there. All I have to do is turn the light to them and allow the path to be lit for me to follow with intention and faith. 

Ups and downs

Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash

I had a rough day today. I started to write a couple things, could not really articulate a cohesive thought. Tired, sleepy, I did create my inspiration board yesterday. I'll share tomorrow.

Life happens - keep going

 So yesterday my plan was to sit down and spend some quality time creating. That was my plan, but then I realized that I truly wanted to do some of the things I have been meaning to do around the house. I work full time and often get home from work, and have other activities I tend to my team or do lives for my business, or sometimes I simply try to rest because I get out of the house pretty early. I often wake up around 3:45am because I know my intention is to get up at 4:30am most days. My doggie Charlie is usually the culprit for waking me up at that time because he wants to go potty, he probably feels I am half awake anyway and also animals are creatures of habit which is another thing we can learn from them.  So long story short I did not blog yesterday, I knew I still had to do it, but truly realized it more intently after I had finished dinner. We usually do not eat so late, but yesterday I literally went to the store after doing some chores around the house, laundry, deep clean the bathroom, and a thorough sweep and mop around the house. I went to the store around 7:30pm, dinner was done until around 9pm and we did not end up eating up until around 10:45pm, super late for us, but it was Saturday so it was ok.  Laying on the couch after and listening to music with my hubby, I truly realized I had not blogged but decided not to do it. I made the decision because we were living in the moment, but I did not keep my word. Do I beat myself up or do I give myself grace?  I think it is about balance. 

This whole exercise is about finding balance in my life, but keeping consistent and building the discipline muscle to do what I say and say what I do.  So all I can do today is blog, fess up, but move on. On the one hand I feel good about cleaning some of the things I really wanted to take care of this weekend, and do the laundry, I have come a long way about laundry. Another story to tell at another time around that, but I got it done and I feel good.  I cooked a late dinner, had some drinks and listened to music with my hubby, it is truly about the details.  THE NAME OF THIS BLOG.

Today is Sunday - I have no plans, no timelines, no deadlines. Today is about relaxing and doing what I want to do. I am going to work on an inspiration board before diving into the vision board, then go to storage and grab some of my vision board items, take care of taking a picture I need to upload to my poshmark closet. This is just me thinking out loud but setting my intent for the day.  Everything in creation has structure - we must listen to the hints life gives us. I have been seeking structure in my life for years or structure is seeking me. Sure, I have structure in some areas already; it is necessary to live and thrive, but I have found that we can live at our highest potential when we stop and assess what and which areas need structure in our lives and focus on one area at a time until we build a whole new beautiful, strong thing called our best life as opposed to living in autopilot and out of habits that are not serving us.

I am excited, to build healthy habits in my life, I truly believe structure has been seeking me for years. I also believe this is the main reason my soul lead me to this blog. To build structure, the habit of creating, adding value to the world and to stop, noticing, making a pause to count my all my blessings. I will persevere, I will not look at all the time that has lapsed since I begun writing this blog. I have gone through so much transformation over the last 10 years - nothing was in vain, it was all meant to be.

The vision is in your heart

Tomorrow will be the day I finally listen to one of those whispers and gather all of my vision board materials and have the actual creative process. Follow my own method and re-visit my notes. I will spend better part of the day creating.  Those whispers are there for a reason, the more we ignore them and suppress them the louder they get and if we continue to ignore them anxiety sets in, then depression.  This is the main reason why this happens, we are not allowing our true self expression flourish. Life keeps sending hints, so we must learn to be still and listen to them. I am setting out to do just that.

Culture of Progress

Procrastination, perfectionism, lack of time mentality all masks for fear. I am learning as I go to cultivate a culture of progress, even if its tiny steps like blogging free flow for 30 days straight not even stopping for grammatical errors. Yes I'll go back and clean them up, but I am not letting that stop me from blogging every day. What did I learn today? Well I am learning in the past two days about sales, about the importance of being connected to what it is you are offering, and leading with service. I am fascinated to learn the art of the sale, and to get rid of those old beliefs that sales are scummy and bad. On the contrary, sales are necessary to make this world go round. We are constantly selling even if we don't even know it, in how we present ourselves to the world, the things we consume and recommend, the places we go and share with others. The difference is making sure that as a business person you ensure that you add value to your customers and that both sides of the transaction benefit. Win win. Another thing I am learning is that knowledge is to be shared, so yes I am absorbing all this knowledge and taking notes, but I am also sharing this with my team and on my social media to provoke thought and perhaps add value to those who are interested in what I want to say-this is what is called a knowledge broker.  A knowledge broker, absorbs the knowledge and shares it or it finds knowledge and makes it available to those who want to learn about that specific topic. So today I felt great about all the things I am learning and have learned in the recent past and thinking about what my next steps are going to be. To be honest I still feel a little scattered and all over the place; like this blog, but I have ideas, I have dreams, I have life experiences I want to share, I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE. 

As I was looking back to this blog I noticed I used a bunch of pictures from the internet, I did not know any better. So I created some of the messages myself and replaced them with my own designs. I feel better about that, I also noticed grammatical errors. I will go back and try to clean those up as well, but I am not letting that stop me from moving forward. As I was looking back to my previous posts I saw that my post about vision boards had quite a bit of views. I truly feel in my heart that it was a spark of divine inspiration.  The way I organized my thoughts just flowed to me and it felt so right. I created a course, and an experience teaching ladypreneurs how to create a vision for their lives and their business combining, divine intuition, brain science and sensory immersion into the process. I worked diligently and with love to create it and even had a test group preview it. I learned a lot about refining the rough edges and was super excited about launching this fun, girly and effective program and teach women in business how to include the perfect square of life into their vision. (Health, Wealth, Love and Self Expression). One of my attendees said it was like a "spa for the mind" and that's exactly what I was going for! This was all going to launch in 2020 and now we know what happened. I am not giving up tho- still listening to the hits of the universe. Seeing all those views really inspired me to keep going to pick it backup and refine it. Perhaps write a small e-book, then offer this experience both in person and live now that things are opening back up. This challenge is really helping me get my creativity flowing again. I am excited for what's to come - not all who wander are lost.  It is now May 22 and I have been feeling the tug to create my own vision board, I must listen to my inner voice. Perhaps I will videotape myself in the creative process and go through the steps to refresh my memory. It all seems like it was an out of body experience, did I really create that? Seems like ages ago.   I'll keep going and continue to practice imperfect action and cultivating that culture of progress.  Till tomorrow

Analysis Paralysis

Analysis paralysis is definitely a thing. Did you know that perfectionism is a cop out and a mask for fear? So many of us do not live at our highest potential simply because we are afraid to start. I am one of those people who has a million ideas, hopes and dreams, I collect books, conferences, and knowledge in general but somehow feel paralyzed to do anything with it. Why? I get paralyzed after a perceived "failure" at my attempts. How many of us give up because things do not work exactly as we planned or hoped for? I know that I have genuine attempts to start something great and give up way to soon. But guess what? I am not giving up! I know better, and I know that those perceived "fears" are just excuses keeping me from discovering what I am truly capable of. Failures are just guideposts to our ultimate destination, how else will we discover the promise land if we do not travel the desert? This is one of the main reaasons I have challenged myself to blog for 30 days straight. Then I will move to other challenges, and build on those until I can tackle those big ticket items I have on my list. Finish a course I bought two years ago and get a certification I bought a prep course for about a year ago. It is time to take imperfect action.

Figuring it out

The beauty of google. I simply googled free countdown clocks and voila! found one here: www.timeanddate.com and installed on the blog just to make myself accountable and give myself a visual reminder that I am able to accomplish this task of blogging for 30 days. Check it out to the right of this entry. Nothing fancy but I did it! I realize that I am blogging free flow, not really structuring thoughts or even sentences, but the point is that I am actually allowing myself that free flow in ideas. So I realized that just by taking action and being intentional I am allowing myself to create. I was at work this morning and had to pull out a piece of papper because I was mapping out some thoughts. I have felt stuck literally for years and it has only been due to not taking action. This feeling of being stuck and not taking action in the things I want to do, has made me anxious and depressed. Through out this journey I have gained so much insight and knowledge...but I have held myself back, and sabotaged my own progress. Why? Fear

Fear to find out truly what my full potential is, fear of not being perfect and not knowing what I am doing, fear to let myself down again or feel like a failure. Honestly Covid really was a blessing in disguise, becasue it allowed me to face my fears head on and to learn to truly surrender, and most importantly do the very thing I set out to do when I started this blog. Take the time to count my blessings and notice the little things.

Get back up and keep going

So today after work, walking to my car to head home I thought to myself, wait? Did you blog yesterday? I had a very nice Sunday afternoon yesterday at a very nice fancy hotel having afternoon tea with my daughter. A reservation I made a month ago for a mother/daughter Mother's Day tea. Talk about it's all in the details. Everything about it we loved, the ambiance, the harp music, the three course tea service, the champagne, and of course the tea. Ever since my daughter was little we have enjoyed tea time, she is now 20. Anywho, long story short, we got home, and my husband was so excited to make us wood fire pizza...that the evening progressed and I totally forgot to blog.  No excuse, but a great lesson for me in discipline and strategy. If I want to stick to this task of being consistent and blogging for 30 days straight I need to a) plan a designated time to blog and b) use a countdown clock to help me keep track.  I have been wanting to create opportunities to apply discipline and consistency in my life, to prove to myself that I can honor my own word.  Yes, I honor my word in certain areas but again, I feel I need discipline and structure. I want to start with something simple I can accomplish and build upon that to bigger and more complex tasks, like sitting down and studying for a certification I need for work, and completing a course I bought two years ago.  I am learning so much, and I want to apply it real time otherwise the years will continue to pass and I will never take any tangible action. So I am not going to beat myself up for breaking my two day streak, yeah I know, I just started and already skipped a day, but again I did learn something...AND I am not giving up. I am getting myself back up, dusting myself off and I am going to keep going.   So, how do I add a countdown clock?  I guess that's google time. I can post about it tomorrow!  Until then...

Hope and faith the size of a mustard seed

So today as part of my commitment and promise to myself to blog every day for 30 days I am here to write from the heart. I have learned so much in the last 10+ years about myself, my path, my purpose. It has taken so many shifts of mindset and learning so much about state of mind, and learning how emotions drive our lives and what we chose to experience. I learned from some of the best the last five years and throughout the years,  and some people who three or four years ago were exactly where I am now. Having all this life experience and desire to share an make a difference. The only difference between them and I is that they took action and went for it despite of fears, or the need to be perfect. They took imperfect action and went for it, they gave themselves grace and followed their heart, and their gut. I know I have so much to share, and now I know it does not have to be perfect. I can share and continue to grow and continue to learn and share what I learn even in the messy middle. Will you join me in this journey in the pursuit of the possibilities I can find at the other side of fear?

Never Give up

I started this blog in 2011 with as a nudge to my heart and from time to time I feel the tug to come here and write. I have learned to listen to the whispers of my heart but it has taken me so long to figure it out. I have been so fortunate to find so many inspirational speakers through out my journey of self discovery that I feel like an impostor sometimes thinking I have no clue how to start and how to share. I am learning so much these past four days from some of the greatest influencers in the knowledge industry. Real people who followed that nudge and listened to that whisper. 

I am so excited to share with you what I have learned the last 10 years. The process of self discovery and personal development, always feeling like I was running out of time and I was wasting time. Not knowing it was just perfect and right on time.  

I was challenged to give something my attention for at least 30 days and be consistent. Can I blog for 30 days in a row, every single day?  Yes I can. Even if no one is listening - I can use that time for myself and to focus and gather my thoughts, organize my thoughts and what I have learned. One thing I do truly believe is that knowledge is to be shared. I have gathered so much knowledge and have made it my lifestyle to share on my social media, but social media is so instant and fleeting, things get lost on a feed. 

I will recommit 10 years later to this blog and promise to myself to write even a little bit every single day starting today May 14th, 2021.

See you on the other side!